BECAUSE HE CRASHED INTO MY HOUSE 25 DAYS EARLY WITH GIFTS FOR atoasterstrudel.




I thought about it, and decided I was going to do something different for you this year. Something I'm pretty sure I haven't done for you before. And since it wouldn't be Christmas without Bore...well. :) You'll just have to click the cut to see what madness lies beyond.

( Click Here to Unwrap! )

Hope your holiday season is filled with splendiferous wonderment and celebratoriations. As always, God bless you -- and God bless the United States of Amurrica.

ILU DEAR. <3

So, more than likely against my better judgment, I've decided to accept a writing challenge that my fancy has happened upon at 2x5obsessions. Below is the mission I have accepted, approval pending.

2x5obsessions Because everyone is a fan... Author: girl4edwards04 Fandom: The Green Mile Claim: Paul Edgecomb/Percy Wetmore

1. lowered lashes

2. silence in black and white

3. an empty room full of sound

4. dangerous love

5. a lost childhood memory

Progress: 0/5

2x5obsessions Because everyone is a fan... Author: girl4edwards04 Fandom: 24 Claim: Jack Bauer/Hamri Al-Assad

1. reversed roles

2. eye of the beholder

3. envy

4. falling off the edge of the world

5. can't go back home again

Progress: 0/5

DON'T JUDGE ME. TIMES 100.

ETA YAAAAY MY CLAIMS WERE JUST ACCEPTED YAAAAAY. :D :D :D

Medium: Film
Fandom: The Green Mile
Subject: Paul Edgecomb/Percy Wetmore
Title: Burn in Your Flame
Notes: A mix mainly from Paul's perspective, musing on Percy and a relationship where there can be no convention. 7 files (wma and mp3) format compiled in a zip file. Comments are much appreciated!

( That boy is like a disease. )

....Crack is bad, kids.

DON'T JUDGE ME. XD

I come bearing this meme, yoinked from nooperz. Rules are as follows. :)

- Leave me a comment saying "Resistance is Futile." <--HAHA XD
- I'll respond by asking you five questions so I can satisfy my curiosity
- Update your journal with the answers to the questions
- Include this explanation in the post and offer to ask other people questions

( Questions behind the cut. )

In other news, I have Adam Lambert's new song seared into my brain, and I'm pretty sure I just pulled a muscle in my armpit during a coughing fit.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING, BBS. I LOVE YOU ALL. :D

Whoever thought it would be a good idea to make me get sick as a damn dog two consecutive Thanksgivings in a row needs to go DIAF. Seriously.

As usual, there's some kind of pathogen making its way around the office, and I've managed to get sick as all hell just in time for the holidays. YAY. At least it's just the usual run-of-the-mill, hack-up-a-lung upper respiratory infection, according to the doctor. I don't have swine. That's a good thing I can get out of this, I guess. Aside from the snot and the hacking and the strained muscles in my back from coughing, I suppose I feel okay. I think.

...not really. XD

At least I got sick on Friday and had the entire weekend to lay stagnant on the couch and watch movies, which I did. POTC MARATHON SATURDAY. WIIIIN.

Hopefully I'll feel better tomorrow. If not, there are drugs for that. FML, DNW and all that good jazz.

In other news, have been working on holiday requests while hopped up on cold medications. rekindle959, I've started on yours and it's a hoot, not gonna lie. XD Writing Assad as a BAMF-y FBI agent brings me more joy than it probably should, and I'm tying in a close personal relationship between Assad and the President for your benefit. BTW, THE PRESIDENT IS WHITMORE. LOL. HOW'S THAT FOR CROSS-POLLINATING YOUR FANDOMS. XD

Anyway. o.O

Should probably jet. I think I need more Robitussin. :O

PEACE PPLZ.

SKID ROOOOOOW. ILU. SEBASTIAN, YOU ARE A GOD.

Three more days, people. THREE MORE DAYS.

In other news, I think I might actually feel like writing for the first time in like, a week. So maybe I'll go give that a shot. We'll see how it goes.

DEAD, JIM, DEAD.

Kirk out.

BLEEP. BLEEP. BLEEEEEE-- [insert Dr. McCoy with "DEAD, JIM, DEAD" here]

Public Service Announcement. File this under things you weren't sure you ever wanted to know about me, ever.

DOYLE VON FRANKENSTEIN MAKES ME HAPPY IN THE PANTS. NOT. GONNA. LIE.



Don't judge me. You know I'm right.

Seen on the pages of FML--

Today, I woke up in a complete daze. It took me a few minutes to realize what had happened. Apparently my sleepwalking problems have returned, only this time I managed to overdose myself with Nyquil. As a result, I slept for fourteen hours, wet my sheets and lost my job. FML.

Well, I suppose things could always be worse.

I think I ask the question "WHY THE FUCK IS IT ONLY WEDNESDAY" way too much these days.

My office manager's kid has swine flu, I put my hand in runny dog poop, I gave a client a wrong estimate over the phone while her BFF (my former supervisor) was on three-way speaker call with us, my period surprised me early and it's the kind that feels like there's a conga line of fat men in wooden clogs dancing on my uterus. Also, just looked and there are three fruit flies in the iced tea I've been drinking for the past hour.

If tomorrow's not a better day, I think I might just cry. XD Seriously.

In other news, I've been listening to the Misfits a LOT, which seems to be the only thing keeping me moderately complacent at the moment.



♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Ugh. I'm done bitching. Kirk out.

File this under reasons I'm sad I don't live in Jersey. You know, it might be the ONLY reason I'm sad I don't live in Jersey, but still. IT'S A REASON. THIS.

WHAT. DANZIG AND DOYLE VON FRANKENSTEIN. IN THE SAME PLACE. POTENTIALLY ON THE SAME STAGE. IN THE NEAR FUTURE. FML.

Probably best that I'm not there anyway. Lest I have a stroke or suffer some sort of embarrassing blunder involving my pants or resulting in a lack thereof.

In other news, thank the big whatever for the individual who created International Cafe coffeehouse-style things you can make at home. I think they're what's getting me through the week. That and retro horror-punk, apparently.

Half-day tomorrow. Win. Whoever told my OM that scheduling me six days in a row on a regular basis must, clearly, have been on some sort of heavy narcotics.

The End.

OMG. GUYS. This is so, SOOOOOO early. I mean, I realize it's only November 2nd. That being said, some might consider this the beginning of the holiday season. You know, since Thanksgiving is this month. And Christmas will be here before we know it. Scary, right?

TO THE POINT. ANYHOO.

Here in this post, I come bearing the first of holiday gift!fic. Looks like the Christmas Fiction Fairy came early this year!

zed_pm, you asked me for ST (Reboot or TOS, I went Reboot) fic featuring abused!Jim, grumpy!Bones and logical!Spock. The result is here, behind this cut.

( For once I agree. The hobgoblin's logic is sound. )

And there you have it. ENJOY, DEAR. :D

Tis the season to be jolly. Or, you know, something.

Kirk out.

File this under reasons I love Glenn Danzig.

In which he talks about wrestling a large alligator in New Orleans, impersonates a Cajun dude, and radiates so much fucking hotness that pants are optional here.



...whoops. Now I'm posed in an awkward stance, because I--ANYWAY.

Interesting weekend, even if it wasn't terribly productive. :) Hope everyone had a fantabulous Halloween.

WALK ME THROUGH THE GRAVEYARD, DIG UP HER BOOOOOOOOOONES--!!

...

I had a shit day, so here's The Misfits with "Dig Up Her Bones." HAPPY HALLOWEEN. :D



Unf. Michale Graves. UNF.

I'll just be changing my pants now.

ETA: Pumpernickel fiend is online, talking to me about her goddamn pumpernickel again, when I just spent a frustrating two days in the trenches baking rye. FML.

CLEARLY, SEBASTIAN, YOU LIE. XD



Because, apparently, my happy place this week is watching old 80's-90's heavy metal videos on Youtube. In today's selection, we have Sebastian Bach of Skid Row going batshit on some fan who threw a glass bottle at his head during a concert. Not one to let that sort of insolence stand, Baz proceeded to launch himself feet-first off the stage at said bottle-chucking douchecracker.

And now, analysis. In the above video selection, we see Sebastian making a political point of some sort, and getting a bottle winged at his head. After surveying the damage, Sebastian calmly inquires as to the offending invididual. (WHO THE FUCK DID THAT?!)

At first, we see Sebastian attempting to use the incident as a segue to the next set's song, and it almost works. ALMOST. The band starts playing, Sebastian even starts singing -- but halfway through the course of the first verse of "Piece Of Me," we can see him thinking about it. He's contemplating losing his shit. Despite a valiant effort, Sebastian drops the charade and quite literally FLIES off the stage into the crowd. This is proof that 100-something pounds of tiny vocalist flying toward you can, indeed, be hazardous to your health.

In the history of metal, there have been a few standout incidents of frontmen encountering opportunities to completely lose their cool. James Hetfield. Glenn Danzig. Henry Rollins. Axl Rose, going batshit on pretty much everyone. Sebastian is just another name on the list of recognizable BAMF's that nobody dared mess with twice, back when metal was metal and a man would kick your ass if you threw something at him onstage.

What We've Learned:

**Small dudes fly far.

**Don't throw shit at Sebastian Bach, he will fuck your shit up.

**SEBASTIAN BACH WILL FUCK YOUR SHIT UP.

---

In other news, only Wednesday. Again, I am working toward the weekend's freedom.

Kirk out.

OMG. I FUCKING LOVE THIS MUSIC VIDEO.

Sebastian, how is it that you can be an outright metal GOD in said video and still manage to look flippin' adorable as all hell? Seriously. I'm just saying.

Ladies and gentlemen, that's "UNF," all caps. No exceptions whatsoever.

Don't ask me why I made banners for that silly Metallitrek idea, but I did. XD

SPACE. THE FINAL FRONTIER. These are the voyages of the starship Dauntless.

( Go. Boldly. )

NO. I DO NOT KNOW. >>;

Someone. Anyone. Tell me why I write these things. Below lies a snippet of my madness. Complete with POTC references and the first Starfleet crew to ever sell a platinum heavy metal record. Yes, I do intend to finish this. Yes, it will be epic. TO ME. And probably no one else. LOL.

( Full power to shields! Fire all phasers! )

NO, I DON'T KNOW WHY I WANT TO WRITE METALLICA-TREK. DON'T JUDGE ME.

What's up, there, dudes? Just chillin' here. No, seriously. It's like 5 degrees out and drizzly and I'm freezing my ass off. I think the seasons may actually have changed here, but I'll keep my fingers crossed. You never can tell.

First weekend off in, you know, forever = WIN. I'm actually glad it's kinda rainy and miserable. Otherwise, I would have had to accompany the family to some sort of apple...picking...THING this weekend which, really, did not want. Both nature and a massive onslaught of cramps and queasiness (Dear uterus, you and I are fucking DONE professionally) have conspired to keep me on the couch. Clearly, this is the intervention of fate, telling me I'm not going anywhere today or tonight. Which is fine by me.

NOBODY CALL ME. I'LL PROBABLY BE ASLEEP ANYWAY. XDDD

Even though I've been freezing and battling cramps and generally being slothful, I've been somewhat productive as well. I broke out all the pants and long-sleeved shirts and packed away all the breezy summer stuff. Had a nice long chat with deutschkatze06 last night, and watched several episodes of NCIS.

It's been a while since I've done this, but I poured myself a drink of the stiff alcoholic variety (it's been a hell of a week) and lit a candle and curled up in bed in the dark with my mp3 player. Sort of a destressing ritual I have. Last time I did it, I was listening to Zach Quinto reading 'Star Trek,' which put me RIGHT in my happy place. Anyhoo, it's amazing what booze and music can do for your sense of nostalgia. Somehow, I ended up listening to Metallica. And for those of you who are unfamiliar with this fact, Metallica is my favorite band. Ever. Always will be, no matter what happens in the world. They were my first favorite band when I was 9, and I'm pretty sure the first slash I ever wrote in my life was for my first ship EVER, James/Lars. (I never got on the Lars/Kirk bandwagon, as it were.)

Needless to say, I was inspired and feeling sappy, so I sat down to watch a couple of old documentaries and videos and whatnot that I had about the band. Their music videos from 1989-2004, and a documentary that detailed the making of the Black Album. It was actually pretty interesting. I learned that a twelve-string bass was used at the beginning of 'Wherever I May Roam' to make that sort of Eastern-percussion style sound. Because, apparently, Jason is too hardcore for a NORMAL bass. XD Lots of fascinating interviews. Lots of Lars talking. LOL. If you're ever watching an interview with James and Lars together, keep your eye on James while Lars is talking. It's actually kinda hilarious. Lars will just sit there and talk for like, an hour, and James will just sit there and look awkward and look around, staring off into space. Occasionally, he'll fidget and start playing with shit around him. It's HILARIOUS. XD

It was neat seeing them discuss the intricate details and structure of the songs and all. I'm not a music buff or anything, but it was interesting to see--especially on 'The Unforgiven.' Which was, you know, my first favorite song by Metallica. XD I've always related to that song on some odd emotional level. Ask a friend of mine, and he'll tell you (because he listens to the Beatles and Zepplin and that makes him an expert) that 'The Unforgiven' has biblical implications. 'Unforgiven' meaning 'unsaved,' things to that effect. He always tries to make religious imagery out of every lyric he hears. For me, that song has always been about struggle. The fight of life in general, about being beaten down and abused and subdued from the cradle to the grave. It's not hard to read the lines and know what the man's saying, is all I'm saying.

Well, I've written a novel here. Should probably be working on your holiday requests, then. Not sure whose to start on now, as it were. ;D

I'll leave you with this video, the awesomeness of which I had nearly forgotten. XD



WTF PIXIE LARS IN A PARKA OMG WHY DO I LOVE HIM SO.

The end, Jim.

DONE. OMG. :D IT'S DONE.

Just dropping by on this wonderful morning to tell everyone that I have officially FINISHED the written draft of my submission for everyfandomfest.

OMG OMG YAAAAAAY. \o/ \o/ \o/

All I have to do is type out the final draft. Hmm. Too bad the posting period doesn't start for another month. XD For me, something doesn't feel complete until it's COMPLETELY done and posted, signed, sealed, delivered, all that jazz. All I have to do now is wait.

I feel like I'm having a spurt of random creativity. I'm certainly not going to complain about it. Aside from weird dreams here lately, I've felt braindead for the most part. (Maybe it's the dreams that are zapping my brain. I have no idea.) Recently, I've been having these dreams about a couple of people in particular, both of whom have come up in conversation shortly thereafter -- one because she posted on her blog out of the blue, saying she's getting a divorce, and one seemingly just because. I dunno. Weird things happen in October.

At least I sort of got a break from meaningful dreams about real-life people last night. For some reason, my brain chose to give me an episode of TNG where, for some reason, Riker had been turned into a girl. A pretty one. If that doesn't break your brain, I don't know what will.

Anyhoo. Back to working on...something. I don't know what. XD

Peace, cats.
--EKB

ETA: FINAL DRAFT IS NOW TYPED. UM, YES.

ETA 2: Is it bad that I'm freezing my arse off over here? Ugh. Definitely chicken noodle soup night tonight.

My LiveJournal Trick-or-Treat Haul
girl4edwards04 goes trick-or-treating, dressed up as Captain Scurvy Sparbarossa the Dread Pirate.
atoasterstrudel tricks you! You get an eraser.
capndani gives you 13 yellow pineapple-flavoured gumdrops.
lovewithstands gives you 1 green raspberry-flavoured gumdrops.
mcqueens_queen tricks you! You get a 3.5-inch floppy disc.
rekindle956 gives you 3 mauve cola-flavoured gumdrops.
saxokitty tricks you! You get an eraser.
sweetcarolanne gives you 13 light green watermelon-flavoured wafers.
the_onlymistake gives you 10 tan raspberry-flavoured pieces of taffy.
wordsthatfail gives you 1 blue lime-flavoured pieces of bubblegum.
zed_pm gives you 8 teal passionfruit-flavoured pieces of bubblegum.
girl4edwards04 ends up with 49 pieces of candy, an eraser, a 3.5-inch floppy disc, and an eraser.
Go trick-or-treating! Username:
Another fun meme brought to you by rfreebern.

WIN, GUYS. XD